The energy right now is one that feels very “interesting”. “Interesting” is a word that I like to use when I can’t quite put my finger on what I am trying to say whether it is good or bad. So, yes. The energy all around is one that is interesting. There are a couple of days left in 2016 and we are still experiencing the deaths of celebrities who we thought would be around forever. Boy. This 9 year of endings is really kicking ass and taking names. I am still hung up on Prince’s death. I figured I would be an old ass lady the day he died. But, alas. 2016 is taking no prisoners. The energy that I am feeling is one that is pressing through, knocking down and burying everything not strong enough to stand on its own. I also feel that anything that is strong enough to survive is being picked up, held up, amplified and increased exponentially.
One of the reasons I feel that there’s a burying energy for everything not strong enough to stand on it’s own is because I closed up shop on an 18 year long friendship today. I won’t bore you with the particulars, I was just sick to death of my former friend’s addiction to victimhood, pain and drama. We had been going around and around this circle for the past 18 years. LITERALLY. It’s not an exaggeration. And truth be told, I just don’t want to deal with the shit anymore. I have done everything I could to be respectful of her issues and supportive of her plight. I have laid out numerous hours of things that have helped me spiritually. I have done readings, e-mailed countless documents and tagged her in all kinds of Facebook posts that I thought would assist. I have talked until I was blue in the face. I have stayed up hours and hours and hours, listened to her cry, consoled her and talked her off of countless emotional ledges. Only to have her disappear for weeks and weeks and not hear from her again until she was back on the proverbial ledge, panting, telling me she wished she was dead. I feel as if I’m progressing, learning and growing. While she remains stagnant and keeps pulling herself back down into the muck and mire she claims she hates so much. Her “situation” is not strong enough to stand on its own.
I am all for people getting the mental health counseling they need. However, I am in no way a clinician, psychiatrist or psychologist. I can’t diagnose mental issues, nor do I have the education or training in order to write prescriptions of any kind. I just really wanted to be a sounding board for her and show her that I understand and wanted her to get better. However, our friendship was more like a damned echo chamber. Meaning, the same issues she kept bringing and re-hashing kept repeating themselves over and over and over and over. There was never any resolve. Just an understanding that we would keep going around this mulberry bush forever and ever. No señor. We won’t be making it a 19th year, ma’am. No way in hell. I’m tired!
After a while, even the most patient person in the world gets sick. Of. It. Even the most patient person in the world gets angry. I tried tough love. I tried soft love. I tried talking, reading, cards, articles, books, meditations, and prayer. None of it worked. I am tired and frustrated. It wasn’t strong enough on its own to stand. So it had to go. I don’t feel sad or remorseful in any way. Why? Because I know that I have done all I can to be supportive and helpful. Sometimes, that’s not enough. I can’t want my former friend’s healing more that she wanted it for herself. I had to tell her the same thing I tell every other client. It’s all on you.
The other energy I am feeling is also one that is incredibly optimistic. I am feeling more optimistic about my life, business and artistic prospects/projects than I literally ever have before. I have been getting so much work done lately, I am astounding myself. It seems as if all the work that is being thrown at me, which usually buries me, is getting done at lightning speed. It’s surreal and almost kind of scary. I am trying to figure out where I am getting: 1. all this time from, 2. all this energy from and 3. all this EASE from. Everything just feels so damned EASY. And it looks so good BEING easy. Trust me, I am not complaining. I just feel so confident in charging forward to meet my goals. Many of the things that I am accomplishing artistically right now are usually things that I have to think over for days and days. Even after all of that thinking, they still don’t get off the ground. For whatever reason, because I am so stoked about the possible outcome even though I have no damned clue what it’s going to be, I simply throw caution to the wind and go forward with it. Not only that, but there are streams and streams of inspiration coming like it’s nothing. No writer’s block here. I have no idea how much longer this energy is going to last, so I am going to make sure I take advantage of it. This is my “word” for today for anyone reading this.
- Take the initiative. You will surprise yourself.
- Don’t think too deeply about the consequences of releasing your writings or your art. Go for it!
- Hold your cards close to your chest. Everyone is not supposed to know what you’ve got boiling on your stove.
- Let go of the dead weight. You can’t drag anyone to the “Promised Land”. They either have to come of their own free will or stay the hell home.
- Coffee, water, and sleep are your friends. Never let them down.
- As long as inspiration is present, use IT!
- When inspiration wanes, head off and chill. It will come back.
- Don’t let procrastination get a seat in your section.
With both of these energies, it’s important to understand that you are accessing the energies. The energies are not ultimately who you are. The energies are not here to overtake you. They are not here to command you or DIRECT you. They are here to guide you. Why? Because ultimately, it’s on YOU.
From Now Until Infinity,
