Today is a special day. It’s THE only day among all of the days and months of the year that gives you a specific directive.
March 4th.
March forth on March 4th.
This is the first blog post I have written in about six weeks. You don’t realize how much expressing yourself matters to your soul until you get a nudge from ancestors that you need to write because something’s not right inside. Ancestors gave me my nudge. And rightfully so.
Writer’s block, or the block of one’s chosen medium of artistic expression can rear its ugly head for a number of reasons. For me, when I am on the way towards a goal and I am experiencing challenges, I become quiet. I have to sit still. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t talk much. I can’t begin anything new. I have to handle what I have on my plate right now. I feel like I am trying to wrap my head around how to best proceed to the next step in my growth without falling on my ass and/or busting my face open. I also feel like I am trying to wrap my head around allowing the next step to simply happen… without succumbing to any anxiety or fear. This is critical for me!
The only problem is that I do this to the point of it honestly paralyzing me in many ways. When I am not comfortable, mentally secure or trying to steady myself emotionally, I shut down. Nothing happens. I suppose it’s the best way I’ve learned over the years of “concentrating”. When me and my sisters used to fret as children my mom would simply say, “Be still! Just be still!”
While concentrating, though, nothing else can come forward artistically. This is something that I need to work on and am working on, but the first step in remedying an issue is to recognize that it is present.
Marching forth despite challenges and mental blocks is hard as hell. Especially for many of us who are creatives. I write (poetry, music, books, plays), sing, write music, arrange music and act. When I am trying to tightrope my way though a challenge that feels very delicate, its extremely difficult to just take off running towards the goal post. I feel as if I don’t just stop and sit still, I will fall down and all of my plans will be ruined.
I am not necessarily sure if this is a bad thing or a good thing, but for me, slowing down or stopping seems to work well thus far. In my youth, it was very hard to get a handle on my emotions. I allowed people to take me from one spectrum of emotions to the other, and back again as they so chose. I was very reactionary with my emotions. Being reactionary allowed people to have control over whether or not I was happy, sad, angry or neutral. I succumbed to their emotional whims. It made me a prisoner of other people’s fancies. Thank goodness, I’m no longer emotionally reactionary. No matter what is going on, my initial response is always, “Oh! Alright!” It’s simply not worth me getting my blood pressure up anymore for any number or warranted or unwarranted reasons.
I have found that sitting still allows me to steady my emotions and think my way through to a resolution instead of crying my way through it (which by the way does absolutely nothing for me…ever). I’ll update my practices in a way where I won’t slow things all the way down to a screeching halt. But there’s never any harm in slowing down when you feel you’re going to crash. In those situations, caution is the order of the day.
Marching forth when it seems very counter intuitive to do so is not an easy job. It’s natural to feel paralyzed by the circumstances of life. It’s very human to feel as if you can no longer go on because of a set of circumstances that have presented themselves. Don’t paint yourself as weak because you feel emotional about what your next steps are and just how to proceed. Marching forth is a clear and seemingly simple directive, but it’s not the easiest one to follow. Especially when you don’t feel like you know what you’re marching into or off of. That fear you feel when you feel as if you’re hurling yourself into the unknown is a harrowing one. It will worry you to death and make you want to call out for your mommy. It will make you cry puddles and puddles of tears. It can keep you up nights and drive you insane.
I’ve found over the years, however, that marching forth takes more practice than anything. This is based on the fact that what you are being asked to do in the directive “March forth!” is a VERB. You can’t think about it. You can’t meditate on it. You can’t have someone else do it for you. You have to physically get off of your ass and put one foot in front of the other away from where you are right at this moment. You have to step assuredly, even when you don’t feel sure about where you’re going. Marching is different from walking as walking is more passive. You can walk around aimlessly with no destination. Marching is deliberate and very linear. If you’re marching somewhere, you have to know where in the hell you’re going. There’s precision involved in marching. Mentally, though, you may not be there just yet. It’s okay! It takes practice and an amazing amount of fearlessness to train your FEET to move ahead with things even when your MIND is scared out of it’s wits. But it can be done!
You may have no idea where you’re going, how you’re going to get there, whether or not you have the resources and whether or not you have the help–much less, where that help is going to come from! But in practicing that physical act of marching forward…and training yourself to do so, is conditioning you to keep progressing when mentally you don’t feel like you can.
I tell you what, though. Even if you’re scared. Even if you’re fearful of what’s next. Even if you don’t know whether or not you’ll have anyone to help you if you fall….keep moving!
Your feet will take you places your mind can reconcile later on once you’re over the finish line!
March forth!
From Now Until Infinity,
