It’s 2017. The rubber has officially hit the road. We are a few days into the New Year and I would like to offer my friendly public service announcement. This is a time where we can no longer have an output of energy unless there is a reciprocal giving of that same energy. In every respect, without exception.
In the song “Ex-Factor” from Lauryn Hill’s 1998 blockbuster, “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”, she crooned: “Tell me/who I have to be/to get some reciprocity? See no one loves you more than me/and no one ever will”
The days of unrequited love, energy, and actions have ceased to exist. They’re dead and gone. It’s not selfish to require something else from someone else in the way of time, resources, love or support if you are providing it to them. It’s smart. It’s fair. Strategically, it’s a good practice. As the self-proclaimed Queen o’ the Libras, I really love the idea of reciprocity. It lies at the core of who I am being represented in the zodiac by the only sign that’s an inanimate object: The Scales. You give. You get. Things go up. They come down. You shift right. You shift left. You then move back to center. The scales rise up, they sink down. They go back up to balance. Unfortunately, I have not always put that concept of reciprocity into practice. I used to give and give and give and give with no requirement from the person I was giving to. I mistakenly thought it was cold-hearted and self-centered to ask for something back from those to which I had given so much. I recognize now that I was a supreme idiot for not doing so. There is no honor in pouring yourself out until there’s nothing left. Only to cry and suffer because you’ve given up everything and saved nothing for yourself.
I operate on the concept of the “Full Chalice (cup)” view of life. I’m not sure whether I made it up or not, but I’m happy to share it nonetheless. Which is simply this: as a human being on Earth, it is my job to work and make sure my chalice is full. Not only that, I cannot spare one single drop to someone else until I am sure that it’s full. The only thing I have to offer to others I deem worthy is the excess from the overflowing chalice. The moment, however, that there ceases to be a surplus is the moment I stop giving; instead focusing on getting my chalice back to the point of being full to the tippy top. Rinse and repeat.
Reciprocity is also characterized by a mutual accepting of responsibility in the situation of the parties involved. Reciprocity dictates that where I accept blame for the actions that led to the demise of our friendship, relationship, etc., etc., the other party accept responsibility as well. In a two-party relationship, there cannot always be one that accepts the blame where the other one skates. Again, it’s not fair.
I began to see the benefits of reciprocity more clearly after I had completed four years of being a RA in during my undergraduate studies and a Graduate Assistant while in graduate school. After competing my duties as an RA, I was exhausted, spent and as sick as a dog. It felt like I had given everything down to the damned marrow. That, of course, wasn’t the students’ fault. It was my fault for not enforcing any real boundaries outside of the scope of my job.
The second thing that was revealed to me that made me realize that I could only give in situations where I at least asked for the minimum in return is when I studied my astrological chart and saw that my Midheaven (career in this incarnation, 17 degrees) and North Node (karmic mission, 21 degrees) conjuncted (stationed within ten degrees of each other) within four degrees, 10th house (House of Career and our “public face), in Leo (“through my courage and strength of will, I will create a life that shines”–www.auntiemoon.com). Which, based on my studies means that I am supposed to place myself on a stage, in the forefront and forge a path for myself to wealth and purpose. It’s okay to give freely of my heart. But my main purpose is to take care of and amplify me. That’s always been hard as hell for me to do. It still is the hardest thing to do. Until now. I still love the hell out of some people and give of myself. But no longer do I make that my ministry or lot in life.
From Now Until Infinity,
